Wednesday, February 23, 2011

February 23, 2010, Tuesday

The story doesn't stop there...

8:38 Me to Michelle L: Stacey is bringing kids to school. He should be there around 8:45
Michelle: See him then

8:39 am Jessie: How r u? I just don't even know what to do. I got up and got the girls off to school but it feels like I am a zombie in disbelief. I'm praying for u and Stacey
Me: I am praying for you Jessie> I am hysterical one moment and praising HIM in this storm I don't understand the next. I miss her so. Parker did NOT do well
Jessie: Sweet Parker. Maybe we can go to lunch in a couple of weeks and I can love on him a little. My girls did okay. I don't think they can quite digest it.
( You readers need to know that Parker has had a CRUSH on Ms. Jessie for years! She is a complete rock star in his eyes)

9:04 am Jami: Hope you were able to get a little rest last night. Thinking about u. Praying for peace for your day. Love you

9:29 Kimberly H: Thinking of you, hope you are okay.
10:37 Stacey: How are you doing?
10:42 Linda: How are you making it today?
10:58 Stephanie: How r u 2 day? How did it go last night?
11:24 Julie: You are on my mind. I love you friend!
11:30 mom: Call when u have a moment

1:16 Jodi: Do u get the feel that service will be thurs? I'm still in town but trying to make a plan of when to go home... BTW, ILY
Me: carepages says thurs., Tentative

2:11 pm David: Would u consider being a pallbearer?
Me: absolutely

2:28 me to Stacey: David asked me if I would be a pallbearer, or if I would consider it
Stacey: me too!
Me: so sweet

David: thanks

3:14 Mindy: I love you and am praying for you! Jenny was just as lucky to have you as you were to have her

3:32 Jessie: Wondering if Jenny wrote out that prayer she said about heaven at her birthday party? If she did it might be with all the things she wrote about all the women. If so that would be beautiful to share. Just an idea.

3:47 Me to David: fell my love?
David: I do. Can u email some pics to Jessie for the video? We are at Richland Hills discussing service.
Me: Oh sweet friend. Do you have what she wrote about heaven from her birthday?
David: Is that the letter she wrote on her birthday to everyone?
Me: I think it should be on her computer
David: I will find it. I will call when I start looking for it
David: Carepages was just updated with info

I mile 13:48!!!! I ran 3/4 of it! Here I go Jenny!
4:35 David: :)
4:35 David: Love you girl

4:32 KimQ: Hope u are able to have moments of delight in the midst of days of sorrow! I love u!
Me: I love you! I just ran for Jenny! 1 mile in 13:48! I told her we would run! I begin my journey. Thank you so much Kim. Today has been... better than yesterday.
KimQ: I've been praying for that! That everyone will have a spirit of conquering and not a spirit of defeat!! Jenny may be gone but we still have other blessings to delight in. I am so thrilled for your strength rising up Paige Bowden Pearson! I pray for ur moments of grief to bring u closer to a God who lost His Son 4 us. May we press into his Holy presence receiving His Holy blessings! So on with your bad self girlie!!! I am proud of you!

9:21 pm me to Kelli: Are you guys coming to visitation? I'm trying to find someone to watch my kids. Didn't know if you planned on coming to both funeral and visitation
Kelli: I can watch the kids what time do u want to bring them?
Me: First off, I hope you had a wonderful time. I can't wait to hear about it! I think around 5. I will bring their pjs. I'll know more when STP gets home.
Kelli: My trip was good. How r you? I'll be home around 2:30 tomorrow.
9:38 me to Krista: You are so sweet!! I am doing okay.. when I am not awake. You get it? I'm dealing. I started running today for jenny

9:39 pm me to AMY: I hope you are having the fun of your life! THinking about you partying with the princesses! Wish I was with you! (BTW, she was at Disney World)

So you see, my running journey started one year ago today! I remember running that .75 and finishing that mile on the treadmill. Watching every number pass waiting for it to hit 1 mile. I also remember falling off the treadmill, reaching for my phone and sending that text to Stacey and David. David has been an incredible cheerleader. We now have 180 participants in Running for Jenny and 314 members on Facebook. I never knew.... but God did! Every step of the way... He has used me to let His light shine... although MY light... doesn't always shine... sometimes it whines, it cries, and it just says NO, not tonight. I still do not like to run. Nope. BUT, I knew/know that if Jenny was still here on this earth, we would be doing this together... yes we would. My prayer is that God can use me to bring Glory to himself... As I sat at the cemetery yesterday all by myself... I realized I am NOT alone. He used my bible study to tell me about my troubles.. that I am being refined, not defined by these troubles. I am doing a study by Jennifer Rothschild. I bought it soon after Jenny died and am still not all the way through it. I did a Beth Moore study this summer, but have continued to be drawn to this one. This is what my study said yesterday (GOD IS GOOD)!
"God works through the difficult situations in our lives to discipline, nurture, and instruct us. Sometimes God is most merciful when He allows us to experience the pressures and pain of heartache because it disciplines, instructs, and nurtures us. I'm thankful God doesn't remove His hand from the clay of my life too soon, leaving me misshapen. I'm thankful He is nurturing me through patient teaching. I'm thankful He carefully positions me near His refining fire until I begin to reflect His glory."

Isn't God good?? This was the reading as I sat on the bench on her gravesite! This scripture was also in the reading
" We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed" 2 corinthians 4:8-9
Jennifer says: "When we live by faith, we are not destroyed. Endure... persevere.... stand firm... stand your ground. These words are proactive, don't give up kinds of words! They are the very pictures of faithfulness. Don't throw in the towel or faint. Crawl if you have to. Remain faithful, for a reward beyond imagination awaits you. God promises: Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him (Jas. 1:12)" That is Jenny! She received the crown of life!!

Now, I am to persevere! To reflect His glory! To lean on Him, read His word, pray.
The next part of the study is titled: Canvas for His Glory. I can't wait to start it. God's timing is perfect. Sorry for my ramble... Kind of got carried away.

I can't wait to share other things I heard yesterday during my time with the Lord. It was good. Now, go RUN, or join Running for Jenny. Would love to have you on this journey!

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