Monday, April 20, 2009

Hard Times

God uses rough times to stretch me to make me step out trusting him. Shaking the stuff I had made a foundation rather than him. I am thanking God for that shaking, but also gritting my teeth because I know God knows me and knows I don't like change! At first I was welcoming the changes! WHOOHOO! I knew it was coming. I had felt the spirit for weeks preparing me for it. On fire for God, trusting him more and more and found a new relationship with him. It was wonderful. The new has worn off. Now, I am missing my foundation. My old foundation. It was familiar, it was good, lots of people I loved were apart of it. I still feel the warmth of God, I know he is right beside me waiting for me to reach out my hand, AGAIN.

Do you have those times? Those times that you know are so good for you, but you miss what you had? And not that my 'had' was bad, it wasn't. I know that GOD holds so much more for me. A deeper place for the 2 of us to worship together. I look forward to see what is planned for Stacey and me.

Visiting churches is one of the hardest things I have ever done. I remember out of college doing it. Hated it. I remember after we got married we moved to Arlington and looked for a church home. Hated it. Then we moved to Corinth, that was the worst. I would actually ask Stacey if I could give alias' and fake phone numbers out. I know. That was bad. Here we are again. We aren't looking for a new church home, we are enjoying worshiping right now other places ( thanks to a friends suggestion), but the enjoying part of it is wearing on me. I like seeing the same faces every week, and I like the routine I was used to. The kids are being champs. Parker had a moment on Sunday though where we wanted to go see his friends. He is my child. Stacey talked to him, because I couldn't. I knew how he felt.

Thank you for letting me be real. I know I rambled. Sorry. Thank you God for the freedom we have, the relationship you offer to me, to everyone who wants it.

Have you been stretched today? Lately?


1literatimommy said...

I am praying...our preacher's doing a sermon on the mount series, and he would say "blessed are you, paige, when you feel shaken. That is when you are holding on to me with the strongest grip!"
love you, girl!

Beck Boys said...

I know you are growin in so many ways. I don't like stepping out either. I like my realationships to be comfortable. We will be praying for you through this. Good luck.

Kelly said...

Oh my goodness, I had no idea. If it makes you feel better, as I was reading your post, I thought I could've written the same thing. We left a small church that we had been at for 8+ years.

It was and still is at times a tough transition...even after over a year. But, the good news is that I don't regret it. I just know it's a new chapter where I have to lean even more on God for my comfort and dependence.

Hang in there. Thanks for being genuine!

Alyssa said...

It is still hard on me- and we moved 18 months ago. Change can be really hard when you are a relationship person. I will definitely be praying for you and your sweet family!

Miss G said...

oh Paige! I'm sorry. I know these sorts of times well. BUT if we hadn't both gone through times like this in the past and ended up at the same church once upon a time, we wouldn't be friends today! God is good all the time . . . and all the time, God is good. Even when we're having a hard time opening our eyes to what He has rather than our own comfort zone. I know my friend, I know. Kelly

amerriman said...

God will lead you to the right place, trust in him!

Stacey Pearson said...

You brought tears to my eyes, i love your "realness". I just love you!!! We will get through this together! God is in control!

Beth said...

We just can't believe it! As you know God has a plan, sometimes when we are in the darkness it is hard to see the light.