Yep, BLAH! Just call me Ms. NEGATIVE! Do you ever feel that overwhelming sense of UGH! Just an almost, "DON'T CROSS ME!"? That is where I have been today. Really it started last Saturday, or at least that is when I felt it coming on....
Our usual parking lot was closed (?) for the park where we play soccer. It is a parking lot down a street with houses and I was on time. RIGHT ON TIME. Like almost late. Parker was already at the game, it was just me and B in my car. Since the lot was chained closed, I looped around and decided I could park in front of a house and walk through the closed lot to get the game which would have been so much quicker than that driving to the other parking and then HIKING to the field with B in tow. I would have been late. So I park in front of a house. I even get out of my car and check to make sure I wasn't blocking the mailbox. I get back into my car, and even pull up even more so that I was NOT blocking the mailbox. I stop the car, get out of my car, open B's door, get him out of his seat when the home owner comes out and informs me NOT to park in front of his side walk or his mail box. I could how ever park in front of his house. He really wasn't kind in his tone. I felt like I was in high school getting in trouble. Almost a shame came over me. I put B back into his seat and drove to the other parking and HIKED with B on my hip and almost missed the first quarter where, of course, Parker had started. Nice. I was just worked up. Probably could have cried about it, honestly.
I won't go into play by play about the other details, but Satan is riding my back. My praying is okay, I am doing it daily. I am reading a great book, not the bible daily, but this other spiritual book. I am an emotional wreck. The kids.... the end of preschool deadlines.... dealing with many emotions that have built up over months.... church planting.... why is my squash NOT growing... why is E back to NOT wearing shorts.... you need money for what... you need more money for that.... you need how much money..... sure I can volunteer..... wait, can I find a sitter..... you have a performance when.... you have another performance when.... WHO KNOWS WHEN THE PERFORMANCE IS!!!.... a mother's tea.... when is that....HELP!... you lost your library book.... how much is that.... Yes, you can listen to MIGHT TO SAVE.... YES, You can listen to Mighty to SAVE AGAIN!
Of course, the end of that was a good part. A really good part. Still have that anxiety....GO AWAY! Not you, but IT! GO AWAY ANXIETY! GO AWAY SATAN!