Hard Times

God uses rough times to stretch me to make me step out trusting him. Shaking the stuff I had made a foundation rather than him. I am thanking God for that shaking, but also gritting my teeth because I know God knows me and knows I don't like change! At first I was welcoming the changes! WHOOHOO! I knew it was coming. I had felt the spirit for weeks preparing me for it. On fire for God, trusting him more and more and found a new relationship with him. It was wonderful. The new has worn off. Now, I am missing my foundation. My old foundation. It was familiar, it was good, lots of people I loved were apart of it. I still feel the warmth of God, I know he is right beside me waiting for me to reach out my hand, AGAIN.

Do you have those times? Those times that you know are so good for you, but you miss what you had? And not that my 'had' was bad, it wasn't. I know that GOD holds so much more for me. A deeper place for the 2 of us to worship together. I look forward to see what is planned for Stacey and me.

Visiting churches is one of the hardest things I have ever done. I remember out of college doing it. Hated it. I remember after we got married we moved to Arlington and looked for a church home. Hated it. Then we moved to Corinth, that was the worst. I would actually ask Stacey if I could give alias' and fake phone numbers out. I know. That was bad. Here we are again. We aren't looking for a new church home, we are enjoying worshiping right now other places ( thanks to a friends suggestion), but the enjoying part of it is wearing on me. I like seeing the same faces every week, and I like the routine I was used to. The kids are being champs. Parker had a moment on Sunday though where we wanted to go see his friends. He is my child. Stacey talked to him, because I couldn't. I knew how he felt.

Thank you for letting me be real. I know I rambled. Sorry. Thank you God for the freedom we have, the relationship you offer to me, to everyone who wants it.

Have you been stretched today? Lately?